The Constable picture "inspired" me to write a bit of doggerel - it's best here, I think:
Who's Constable then?
We hired this cottage for two weeks in May
our holiday ration to take
I cant get a drink - the pubs too far away
there are rats in the roof and they scrabble all day
theres a track from the village, but no motorway!
Its all been an awful mistake.
We were brought from the village by old brewers dray
that was led by a dodgy old man
Our luggage fell off several times on the way,
we lurched such a lot we were sick in the hay,
and when we arrived the man said we must pay!
Its all been an frightful mistake.
There are trees next the cottage - they make it all dark
when it rains theres a terrible mess.
There are dogs in the shed, and at night they all bark,
and rooks in the branches saying nothing but Ca-a-ark!
and the fields even ring to the song of the lark!
Its all been a horrid mistake.
Theres the ghost of a painter who looks rather ill,
John Constable, so Ive heard say.
Weve heard shouts and screams, when at night all was still,
and groaning and banging and splashing, until
through a window was hurled a huge sketch of the Mill
Its all been a ghastly mistake.
Davie
Who's Constable then?
We hired this cottage for two weeks in May
our holiday ration to take
I cant get a drink - the pubs too far away
there are rats in the roof and they scrabble all day
theres a track from the village, but no motorway!
Its all been an awful mistake.
We were brought from the village by old brewers dray
that was led by a dodgy old man
Our luggage fell off several times on the way,
we lurched such a lot we were sick in the hay,
and when we arrived the man said we must pay!
Its all been an frightful mistake.
There are trees next the cottage - they make it all dark
when it rains theres a terrible mess.
There are dogs in the shed, and at night they all bark,
and rooks in the branches saying nothing but Ca-a-ark!
and the fields even ring to the song of the lark!
Its all been a horrid mistake.
Theres the ghost of a painter who looks rather ill,
John Constable, so Ive heard say.
Weve heard shouts and screams, when at night all was still,
and groaning and banging and splashing, until
through a window was hurled a huge sketch of the Mill
Its all been a ghastly mistake.
Davie
