Its been so long
Since I felt the cold steel
Graze my pale pale flesh
Blood is pumping in my veins
Begging to be released
Yet it cannot be
Will never be again
The mercury that is boiling beneath my skin
Is tainting my fragile mind
Driving me closer and closer towards death
And I am hanging on by the razors gleaming edge
Tearing my hands apart piece by piece
The nearer I get to sanity
I open my mouth yet no words come out
And I am screaming beneath my silent demeanor
Searching for the voice that I lost so long ago
Searching for my redemption beneath my scarred flesh
And my shattered expression
You say Im crazy-beautiful
Like the girl in the movie
Crazy on the outside
Beautiful on the inside
But the part you missed it that Im DYING on the inside
And that I will never be beautiful again
For scars of pain and madness do not fade easily
And this world does not take kindly to imperfections
I am too numb too move
Too tired to care
And too unhappy to do anything about it
The walls that once kept me so isolated
Are now crumbling down around me
And the cement that I need to repair this mess
Is nowhere to be found
Damn your therapies that leave me anxious and torn
Damn you all for helping me
Damn you all for showing me that things CAN be different
Damn you all for telling me that you care
When you have no idea how much that hurts to hear
Tears are forming behind my sullen eyes
But I will not cry
I will not show emotion
For Im long past feeling
And Im loading up my gun
Staring up at the sky above me
Wishing Orion was there to listen
Chain me to a bed of nails
And slash my teenage wrists
For there will be no happy endings
Because nothing ever ends
It just takes a break sometimes
Only to resume again when the time is right
Its been so long
Since I felt the cold steel
Graze my pale pale flesh
Blood is pumping in my veins
Begging to be released
Yet it cannot be
And, now, will never be again
Since I felt the cold steel
Graze my pale pale flesh
Blood is pumping in my veins
Begging to be released
Yet it cannot be
Will never be again
The mercury that is boiling beneath my skin
Is tainting my fragile mind
Driving me closer and closer towards death
And I am hanging on by the razors gleaming edge
Tearing my hands apart piece by piece
The nearer I get to sanity
I open my mouth yet no words come out
And I am screaming beneath my silent demeanor
Searching for the voice that I lost so long ago
Searching for my redemption beneath my scarred flesh
And my shattered expression
You say Im crazy-beautiful
Like the girl in the movie
Crazy on the outside
Beautiful on the inside
But the part you missed it that Im DYING on the inside
And that I will never be beautiful again
For scars of pain and madness do not fade easily
And this world does not take kindly to imperfections
I am too numb too move
Too tired to care
And too unhappy to do anything about it
The walls that once kept me so isolated
Are now crumbling down around me
And the cement that I need to repair this mess
Is nowhere to be found
Damn your therapies that leave me anxious and torn
Damn you all for helping me
Damn you all for showing me that things CAN be different
Damn you all for telling me that you care
When you have no idea how much that hurts to hear
Tears are forming behind my sullen eyes
But I will not cry
I will not show emotion
For Im long past feeling
And Im loading up my gun
Staring up at the sky above me
Wishing Orion was there to listen
Chain me to a bed of nails
And slash my teenage wrists
For there will be no happy endings
Because nothing ever ends
It just takes a break sometimes
Only to resume again when the time is right
Its been so long
Since I felt the cold steel
Graze my pale pale flesh
Blood is pumping in my veins
Begging to be released
Yet it cannot be
And, now, will never be again
