Lay your hands upon my lies
And grind them into dust
Desire doesnt live here anymore
Only pain
Heartache
And hatred do
They have taken up permanent residents in my mind
And there is no chance of them leaving anytime soon
You look at me and I KNOW you doubt the words I say
But Im such a good actress
I play my part so well
That you cant seem to find any reason to doubt me
Too bad looks can be deceiving
Weve come to the scene where I need to convince
Smile calmly
(Dont let them see the mania inside)
Deliver your monologue with ease
(Timing is vital)
Everything will be fine if you can just get through this
(Take a deep breath)
You know you can do it
(Exhale slowly)
Youve rehearsed this for hours on end in your head
Waiting for the moment when you would finally have to deliver
(The audience is watching your every move now)
Why does it always go so differently in real-life?
Im just a Mona Lisa
My smile is made of paint
And my eyes always seem to be off in the distants
Searching
For something I will never find
My hands are folded in my lap
To hide the shaking, the trembling
No wonder you think Im an addict
Bags are resting beneath my hollow eyes
Lavender bruises catching the teardrops that fall
My scarred arms and red-rimmed gaze
Add to the fact that you think Im a junkie
It must seem like I havent slept in days
Guess what?
I havent
You tell me that what Im feeling is just in my head
That its one of those teenage phases
That time heals all wounds and all that crazy bullshit
You think I will be ok with a little therapy
Some pills
A pat on the head
You tell me that my mind wont remember forever
But youre wrong
I may get better
But Ill never forget
The red sea is parting in my veins
And I am drawing it forward with a razor blade
A sadistic gleam in my eye
And pain beyond belief
This is the story of one womans journey
To a darker side of reality
To a place that you thought could only exist in nightmares
To a world so cold and bitter
That you will wonder how anyone could possibly live here
Im burning my skin off little by little
Doing endless sit-ups by candlelight
As I try to retain what little control I have over my life
My world is seen through the Looking Glass
Where food is greed and flesh is weak
Where life is pointless and death is pure
I will become bone and ice
And I will move past you like wind on the ocean
As you try to figure out what went wrong
The thoughts are spinning inside my head
With little chance that I will ever be able to stop them
Red hot coals are blazing beneath me
As I sleep on a rusty bed of nails
I will wake in the morning with the blood running down
And not care at all
Because it will tell me I am still there
It will tell me I am alive
My hunger is gnawing at my insides
Screaming so loudly I fear you will hear
I hiss
"Be quite. We dont need anything"
Because I am trying to project the image
That everything is fine
That I am the perfect girl you want me to be
But how can you not see that I am falling apart
Brick by brick
Piece by piece
As the layers crumble slowly to the ground
I am lying on a bed of roses
(Inhale)
And the knife is in my hand
(Exhale)
I am carving my story into my up-turned wrist
(Inhale)
As the world spins around me unnoticing, uncaring
(Exhale)
The things you said are floating in and out of my broken memory
(Inhale)
As I try to find a reason to stick around
(Exhale)
But with one swipe of my right hand I know it can never be
(Inhale)
For I am leaving this world in a blur of red, silver and black
(Exhale)
As I stain the white satin sheets crimson with liquid suicide
(Inhale)
And cry the last tears I will ever taste
(Exhale)
For I am hollow and empty, needing and desperate
(Inhale)
And I know by the way that you all look at me
(Exhale)
That I am wasted
And grind them into dust
Desire doesnt live here anymore
Only pain
Heartache
And hatred do
They have taken up permanent residents in my mind
And there is no chance of them leaving anytime soon
You look at me and I KNOW you doubt the words I say
But Im such a good actress
I play my part so well
That you cant seem to find any reason to doubt me
Too bad looks can be deceiving
Weve come to the scene where I need to convince
Smile calmly
(Dont let them see the mania inside)
Deliver your monologue with ease
(Timing is vital)
Everything will be fine if you can just get through this
(Take a deep breath)
You know you can do it
(Exhale slowly)
Youve rehearsed this for hours on end in your head
Waiting for the moment when you would finally have to deliver
(The audience is watching your every move now)
Why does it always go so differently in real-life?
Im just a Mona Lisa
My smile is made of paint
And my eyes always seem to be off in the distants
Searching
For something I will never find
My hands are folded in my lap
To hide the shaking, the trembling
No wonder you think Im an addict
Bags are resting beneath my hollow eyes
Lavender bruises catching the teardrops that fall
My scarred arms and red-rimmed gaze
Add to the fact that you think Im a junkie
It must seem like I havent slept in days
Guess what?
I havent
You tell me that what Im feeling is just in my head
That its one of those teenage phases
That time heals all wounds and all that crazy bullshit
You think I will be ok with a little therapy
Some pills
A pat on the head
You tell me that my mind wont remember forever
But youre wrong
I may get better
But Ill never forget
The red sea is parting in my veins
And I am drawing it forward with a razor blade
A sadistic gleam in my eye
And pain beyond belief
This is the story of one womans journey
To a darker side of reality
To a place that you thought could only exist in nightmares
To a world so cold and bitter
That you will wonder how anyone could possibly live here
Im burning my skin off little by little
Doing endless sit-ups by candlelight
As I try to retain what little control I have over my life
My world is seen through the Looking Glass
Where food is greed and flesh is weak
Where life is pointless and death is pure
I will become bone and ice
And I will move past you like wind on the ocean
As you try to figure out what went wrong
The thoughts are spinning inside my head
With little chance that I will ever be able to stop them
Red hot coals are blazing beneath me
As I sleep on a rusty bed of nails
I will wake in the morning with the blood running down
And not care at all
Because it will tell me I am still there
It will tell me I am alive
My hunger is gnawing at my insides
Screaming so loudly I fear you will hear
I hiss
"Be quite. We dont need anything"
Because I am trying to project the image
That everything is fine
That I am the perfect girl you want me to be
But how can you not see that I am falling apart
Brick by brick
Piece by piece
As the layers crumble slowly to the ground
I am lying on a bed of roses
(Inhale)
And the knife is in my hand
(Exhale)
I am carving my story into my up-turned wrist
(Inhale)
As the world spins around me unnoticing, uncaring
(Exhale)
The things you said are floating in and out of my broken memory
(Inhale)
As I try to find a reason to stick around
(Exhale)
But with one swipe of my right hand I know it can never be
(Inhale)
For I am leaving this world in a blur of red, silver and black
(Exhale)
As I stain the white satin sheets crimson with liquid suicide
(Inhale)
And cry the last tears I will ever taste
(Exhale)
For I am hollow and empty, needing and desperate
(Inhale)
And I know by the way that you all look at me
(Exhale)
That I am wasted
