I don't mean to put a damper on anyone's enthusiasm or to be the "bad guy" (which I notoriously am! :rofl ) around here, but we all need to remember the intent of this particular forum here at the Maelstrom.

I understand that Wayne has invited comments on what may not work in this, but we're getting into the realm of crit and offering up re-writes in what is a non-crit forum. I appreciate the enthusiasm and generosity of others in wanting to help a fellow writer, and well understand that there is often a fine line to be walked in non-crit forums, but think these type things are best reserved for the crit forums -- The Rapids or White Water. Though they are (too) quiet, everyone is invited to participate in them.

Anyone who is looking for helpful suggestions or comments on what may or may not be working in a particular post is encouraged to visit. And anyone who'd like to lend a helping hand to their fellow board members is also encouraged -- there's plenty of posts and posters who I'm sure would love your attention.

Thanks everyone. :)

The Bad Guy :monalisa :rofl

Anyone can write of beauty -- of life, friendship, love everlasting -- but it is those rare, brave souls who dare to live their words that are the true poets of the universe. That is where true beauty lies. ~JaML