As stated in another thread here, I don't care to offer much in the way of crit on forms and the Petrarchan sonnet is not a sonnet form I'm particularly well versed in. But ... here in the dim hours between nightfall and dawn, I had a suggestion or two to use or lose as you deem appropriate.

Firstly, I like the premise: Words start wars ... but they do not fight or end them. This is, perhaps, true on both the large and small scale. Well said. I'd like to think that, sooner or later, humankind will learn from its mistakes, instead of consistently repeating them, and find a way to live peaceably (you know: a startrek sort of nirvana ;) ), but that seems quite a fantasy today. Here's to putting our hopes on evolution!

I'll not get into argument over the initial caps for each line as I know your opinions on that. I think poetry should announce itself as poetry by being poetic, not by such pretentious devices as initial caps (regardless of who may or may not have done so in centuries or decades past), but that's my opinion and personal opinion only. It, personally, distracts me to no end!

S1 L2 -- The use of "and" twice, with only a single word separating the usage, might not be advisable. It comes across (to me) as a filler word, strictly for meter and not as anything adding to meaning, imagery, etc.

S1 L5 -- The "he" here comes across as a bit abstract to me. I assume you're referring to a soldier ... to "every soldier" ... but he's not introduced as such, nor ever referenced again. Might be worth considering, though it could easily just be me.

S1 L5 -- I think "generations" s/b "generation's" to denote possession -- the son of a generation. I could be misreading this.

S1 L8 -- I'm wondering if "breech" s/b "breach"? (The meaning of breach being: breach (brch) n.
1.
a. An opening, a tear, or a rupture.
b. A gap or rift, especially in or as if in a solid structure such as a dike or fortification.
2. A violation or infraction, as of a law, a legal obligation, or a promise.
3. A breaking up or disruption of friendly relations; an estrangement.

S2 L3 -- I'd question the use of the semi-colon here, and think I'd tend toward a full stop. Probably personal preference, but the semi-colon makes for a very long sentence.

S2 L5 -- Again, I find this line a little abstract. Time defeats the peace by wearing down ... by wearing down what exactly? Perhaps this one can be left to allusion. I'm not sure if it comes across strongly enough.

S2 L5 -- "Thereupon" is not a very creative rhyme for "upon". Perhaps there's a better alternative?

Again, I don't find a very strong volta ... but, perhaps, I am looking for something more "in your face" than is appropriate.

Overall, an enjoyable, thought-provoking, and well written sonnet.

Thank you.





Anyone can write of beauty -- of life, friendship, love everlasting -- but it is those rare, brave souls who dare to live their words that are the true poets of the universe. That is where true beauty lies. ~JaML