Hi, PA. Though the tone is entirely different, as this seems filled with such pain and frustration, your closing here reminded me so much of the old Aerosmith song "I don't want to miss a thing"

"I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing"

As one who suffers severely with both insomnia and chronic depression (and one really has to wonder if they don't go hand in hand!), I believe I related to your words here. Very effective writing.
Anyone can write of beauty -- of life, friendship, love everlasting -- but it is those rare, brave souls who dare to live their words that are the true poets of the universe. That is where true beauty lies. ~JaML